Will work for Starbucks
I have to confess something. I haven't cleaned my house in two months. The dishes are piled up on the counters, trash cans are overflowing, laundry's waiting to be washed, and the fridge is empty. It is a story of heartache and sorrow.
Therefore, I have decided - with the help of some well-aimed butt-kicking from several friends - that it is time to change all of that. And there is no better time to change than now. I should write motivational speeches.
Optional boring details, skip if desired: I've devised a plan that is 100% foolproof assuming I don't ignore it. I'm going to start with the laundry, sort it, and throw a load in the washer. Next I'll put a load of dishes into the dishwasher. While those two things are going, I'll empty all of the trash cans, Swiffer the floors, and put down the rugs that my mom has been bugging me to lay out. After that I will probably be exhausted. If not, insert bathroom cleaning or crap sifting-through here. Probably not the latter, I hate sifting through crap. Especially stinky crap. Fortunately our stinky crap doesn't require sifting through. Okay, that was gross.
Of course, what good can ever come of work unless you have a reward? I ask this as I sit here sipping a Grande No Whip Green Tea Frappuccino. It happens to be one of the more fantastic green tea frapps I've had, in fact, thanks to well-blended ice and the light drizzle of blackberry syrup courtesy of my creative Starbucks barista. Yes, in this house rewards are required to come before work. Or at least frappuccinos are.
So as soon as this drink is finished, I will most likely be busy for the next few hours doing dishes and sweeping up cobwebs. Which, by the way, are absolutely repulsive. Because it means that spiders are or have been there. Which means that at one time or another spiders were IN my HOUSE. alfdkjf.
On another note...
As I was contemplating my life on the way home from Starbucks today, I realized that my perception of myself usually variates between two adjectives or levels: embarrassed and pleased. At any given point in a day I am probably quietly sitting there wavering back and forth between the two.
"Hey Sam! How's it going?"
"Freaking sweet, buddy! I mean, uh, it's okay."
It's somewhat disturbing, actually, and a wonder that my head hasn't exploded yet.
If I'm not feeling either of those, then I'm probably either disgusted with myself or quite confident in my awesomeness. Probably not, but you know what I mean. See? There's the wavering. I have summed it up with the incredibly well-drawn picture below.
To conclude this discussion, I have finished my drink. Bye!
Therefore, I have decided - with the help of some well-aimed butt-kicking from several friends - that it is time to change all of that. And there is no better time to change than now. I should write motivational speeches.
Optional boring details, skip if desired: I've devised a plan that is 100% foolproof assuming I don't ignore it. I'm going to start with the laundry, sort it, and throw a load in the washer. Next I'll put a load of dishes into the dishwasher. While those two things are going, I'll empty all of the trash cans, Swiffer the floors, and put down the rugs that my mom has been bugging me to lay out. After that I will probably be exhausted. If not, insert bathroom cleaning or crap sifting-through here. Probably not the latter, I hate sifting through crap. Especially stinky crap. Fortunately our stinky crap doesn't require sifting through. Okay, that was gross.
Of course, what good can ever come of work unless you have a reward? I ask this as I sit here sipping a Grande No Whip Green Tea Frappuccino. It happens to be one of the more fantastic green tea frapps I've had, in fact, thanks to well-blended ice and the light drizzle of blackberry syrup courtesy of my creative Starbucks barista. Yes, in this house rewards are required to come before work. Or at least frappuccinos are.
So as soon as this drink is finished, I will most likely be busy for the next few hours doing dishes and sweeping up cobwebs. Which, by the way, are absolutely repulsive. Because it means that spiders are or have been there. Which means that at one time or another spiders were IN my HOUSE. alfdkjf.
On another note...
As I was contemplating my life on the way home from Starbucks today, I realized that my perception of myself usually variates between two adjectives or levels: embarrassed and pleased. At any given point in a day I am probably quietly sitting there wavering back and forth between the two.
"Hey Sam! How's it going?"
"Freaking sweet, buddy! I mean, uh, it's okay."
It's somewhat disturbing, actually, and a wonder that my head hasn't exploded yet.
If I'm not feeling either of those, then I'm probably either disgusted with myself or quite confident in my awesomeness. Probably not, but you know what I mean. See? There's the wavering. I have summed it up with the incredibly well-drawn picture below.
To conclude this discussion, I have finished my drink. Bye!
posted by Sam at 3:54 PM
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